{"title":"Chapter 1 — Taken Over","description":"\"I am investing 365 days in myself. One letter, every Sunday. One kick in my own ass, delivered on time, no excuses.\" Five letters. This is where the promise gets made, before there was any proof it would hold.","products":[{"product_id":"letter-001-dear-me-fuck-you-1","title":"Letter 001 — Dear Me, Fuck You","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFuck you!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUnusual, right?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI rinse my face, look up into the mirror while the water is still dripping, and it just comes out.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen another one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRaw. Naked. Pure anger against myself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI clench my jaw, rage aimed at the bare face of the 40-year-old woman in front of me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDo I need to hit rock bottom to realize it's time for change?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFuck your greasy hair. Fuck your oversized tees that help you cover what's underneath. Proof after proof of too many \"just this last time\"s.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI couldn't look at myself anymore. My hands are shaking, and I need to give them something to do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI came out of the bathroom barefoot, bare-hearted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStripped — not for money, for truth.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy bare feet left wet prints on the floor. I watched them fade, disappear without a trace, the way the last however-many years of my life have.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn my head, something — or someone — is begging to get out. A hundred questions a minute, none of them waiting to be answered.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLoneliness is a strange place to be. It either dissolves you into the world or pushes you away to build one of your own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am so broken that I have to say it out loud, because I am suffocating.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI can't look at this face, this place, this city, and not think: I don't know where I want to be, but I'm certain it's not here. Not here mentally, or not here physically?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhere does a broken one go? Am I broken, or just unfinished?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo destination ahead. Just a decision, and confusion — a lot of confusion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I know which part of myself I have to kill, so the rest can live? What if I kill the wrong one?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's dark outside. All the lights are on. All the answers are off.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe curtains are open. I can see myself clearly in the window. From the outside, they can see me too, and neither of us knows who we're looking at. I wonder if from out there I look like a normal person — waiting for summer, retreating in winter, clocking nine to five for a summer holiday and an occasional pair of shoes — or if I look as lost as I feel. How many women look the same and feel the same?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI sit on the couch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis is usually when I reach for the remote and pause my life so I can live someone else's for an hour, an hour and a half.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eInstead, I reach for a cigarette.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy sweet, experienced, venomous friend.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt least you have the decency to hit me where I can feel it, so I always know exactly who's hurting me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI light one up. I wish I had a drink, but my fridge is empty. Probably better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI take my phone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI need visual proof of the exact moment I choose myself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA promise before a plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAt a crossroads of becoming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI open my calendar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don't search for motivation. Motivation will follow. I search for a date.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e08.11.2026.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne year from today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne table.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne woman.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr whatever version of me shows up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShe will inherit the biggest investment of my life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy future.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePurchased in fifty-two Sundays.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePaid in weekly settlements.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo taxes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne hundred percent return.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd this time...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo spectres.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo luggage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust me.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916240331083,"sku":null,"price":0.0,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/letter-001-cover_8d5b0490-282d-4d71-a9e6-d2ee12589d0e.png?v=1787946441"},{"product_id":"letter-002-seven-days-later-1","title":"Letter 002 — Seven Days Later","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don't have the emotional capacity for tough love today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe anger exhausted me by midweek, and all I crave is a soft hug and a big bowl of ice cream.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHugs are out of stock. The freezer is full.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSeven days later, and I am romanticising food and my bed — only not the mirror.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am afraid to see no change.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am terrified.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut is this how I am actually choosing myself? With another \"just one last time\"?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am forty, running out of time, a panicked white rabbit chasing the clock down the hole of another guru book or self-love bullshit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWasn't the promise I gave myself last week that no one would choose for me anymore?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don't need the same thoughts. The same cycle of overthinking, overeating, overregretting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI need music. Motivation will follow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI put my earbuds on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnother two \"fuck you\"s, seven days later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne from me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne from Hozier, singing straight into my ears — and straight at the ice cream in the freezer. Everything is so much easier with the backup of a song.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe rain will have to collaborate with me on this walk, and wash off everything that isn't mine.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMiddle finger up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShoes on.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI just need to walk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHozier is asking me to take him to church, so I do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI walk toward the only place I feel peace — a canal where I used to play as a kid, the place I always come back to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe rain feels different when you have music on. Almost like it's speaking to you, if you choose to notice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSometimes, when I'm listening to music, I completely dissolve into my head. I think I can feel every emotion of the singer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSome of the greatest art has been born from broken hearts — feeding your soul with love stories when your own aren't ones you want to return to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAll week, I have been trying to gather evidence against myself, put it in alphabetical order, and start working through it one by one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, you're right. It doesn't work like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI suppose, in my head, the mess won't just disappear because seven days ago I said so.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaybe there are too many pieces. Maybe it's me who needs to turn them over, one by one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet me try. One by one.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eScratch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eCheck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHow do I find who I am if I only keep doing everything the woman before me did?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShe is the foundation of me, just as the child I was is the foundation of her.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo if I want a different woman, I need different choices.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStupidly...\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe motivation did follow.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaybe I'm trying to move too fast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI am at A, and Z is fifty-two Sundays away.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo maybe A.1 is enough for today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaybe A.1 is choosing music over ice cream.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was lost in my head for nearly two hours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBack at my apartment, soaking wet, I looked at my footprints on the floor again. For a moment I was upset I'd have to dry them, but this time they didn't disappear as fast.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere was simply too much water.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd I let them stay.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916241707339,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/letter-002-cover.png?v=1787946467"},{"product_id":"letter-003-it-was-never-about-the-cashmere","title":"Letter 003 — It Was Never About the Cashmere","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe only iconic thing about the past week was the mess I am in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot the aesthetic kind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe kind that pulls my brain in four different directions at once.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI need a drink. Not the polite amount. Yes, again.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo I'm turning Sunday into a small ritual: wine glass, silence, a letter. Just me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy way of choosing myself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd each letter is the proof I hold.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHave you ever worn cashmere?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt looks expensive. It sounds expensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd it is fucking expensive.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMidweek deliveries are my favourite.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey arrive just before the week becomes too much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis one made Wednesday smell like luxury.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd something else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaybe a new beginning.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI didn't fully believe it yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe box needed a moment of respect.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut the old me started ripping it apart.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThen I slowed down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust a few seconds — long enough to actually feel the moment.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOne piece.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLying on my bed, ready to fulfil its purpose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWhether that was to make me look put together,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eor just a notch more untouchable —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI wasn't sure yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI won't lie — the woman in the advert helped this purchase.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot her exactly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut the version she was pretending to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHad it all together. Life. Herself. Made being alive look easy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLies.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's what comfort sells — the idea that tolerating your circumstances is the same as growing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI have never heard a truly successful person say,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\"Thank God for my comfort zone.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut it's easier to be told what you want to hear\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ethan to face the shitty truth that where you are in life —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eand where you are not —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eis yours.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy closet already knows this.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was buying an identity, because I am missing one of my own.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMy closet is full of this — trends, different versions, outfits bought for the women I tried to become when I was still trying to align.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEmotional baggage disguised as fabric.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo more.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo is that what this cashmere sweater is?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI was drawn to it before I understood why.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe clarity always comes later.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI turned around and saw none of us in the mirror.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot the past. Not the present.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut a manifestation of the future.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe woman I want to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eUntouchable. Content.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOwning every version of herself with fucking grace and wildness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI stood there a little longer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn front of the mirror.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn front of the future.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut I wasn't that woman yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI returned the sweater.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaybe one day I'll buy it again, but until then I owe it to the woman I am now to give her life first — and cashmere isn't who she is.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot yet.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916241838411,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/letter-003-cover.png?v=1787946492"},{"product_id":"letter-004-witch-alike-1","title":"Letter 004 — Witch Alike","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon't wear too much makeup.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI know you think it makes you look strong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLike armour.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt doesn't.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt just makes you harder to reach.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou don't need it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou never did.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust a base.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEnough to blur the nights.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot erase them.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlush.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLike you stayed outside longer than planned.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMascara.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOnly so your eyes don't disappear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour lips already know what to do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNude liner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat shy pink gloss you pretend is accidental.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet your hair down.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYes, I know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's heavy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt annoys you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt sticks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLet it fall anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThere's something dark in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot dirty.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWild.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLike woods you don't enter if you're not ready to play.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA place that doesn't explain itself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eA place that doesn't soften.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear black.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack isn't a choice for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's a default.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear wide-leg trousers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know how much you hate your legs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe volume fixes that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFabric that moves before you do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat hides.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHints.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStops.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour waist appears quietly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour body becomes a suggestion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour presence doesn't ask.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear the black top.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe turtleneck.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe one that shows just enough skin to feel intentional.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour tattoos don't translate.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGood.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey're footnotes to a book nobody else has read.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey don't explain.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey stay.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBlack flows on you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot because of your brown eyes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause of how you look at people when you're not trying.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou pin them like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThey feel it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd they don't know why.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThat's yours to keep.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eHave a drink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou're not fat.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eStop pretending you don't know that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBalance it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBut don't negotiate pleasure.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon't smoke too much.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon't swear.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBe a lady —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNo.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eForget the lady.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBe real.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBe uneven.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBe loud, then quiet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eLaugh too hard.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSing wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSay the word wrong.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eKeep going.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWalk confidently.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEven when it's fake.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eEspecially then.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eDon't wear the black heels today.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot the polite ones.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear the ones that sing on the ground.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWild songs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOld songs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor women not wanting to be found.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot needing to be saved.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eNot daring to be forgotten.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause every second you try to be smaller, softer, quieter —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eyou betray the only thing you actually owe this life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYour presence.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo this is me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMaybe I like her more than I admit.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916241936715,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/letter-004-cover.png?v=1787946519"},{"product_id":"letter-005-alice-alice-wake-up","title":"Letter 005 — Alice, Alice, Wake Up!","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eDrinks on the left.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eDrinks on the right.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eParty dresses everywhere.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eMakeup so heavy it turns faces into guesses.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThe same songs again and again —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003elike the record is broken\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eand no one wants to fix it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003ebecause at least it's familiar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eEveryone is talking about accomplishments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eMoney.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eSex.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eLife.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eIt's a new year.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eAnd I'm in the middle of all of this,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003etrying to get to the bar for another drink.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eMy mind is a mess.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThat voice again — the one from the letters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eTonight I don't want to be becoming.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eI just want to party.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eAnother drink doesn't do the trick.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThere's a border I keep finding —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003ethe side where this is enough\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eand the side where one more sip becomes something else entirely.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eI'm standing right on the line.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eNot sure which side I'm choosing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eNot sure it matters.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eMy body is stiff.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eBracing for something that never arrives.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThere's a feeling I can't shake —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003ethat something here doesn't add up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eNot for me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eNot anymore.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eI wore black, like you told me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eI let my hair down, like you told me.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eAnd yes — I like what I see.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eI'm just not sure I recognise her yet.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThe music gets louder.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eSomeone refills my glass without asking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eI smile at the right moments.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eSay the right things.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eAnd somewhere in the middle of all of it\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eI start to drift.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eNot outward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eInward.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eShe followed me here.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eFrom the bathroom mirror.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eFrom the Sunday mornings.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eFrom every letter I wrote thinking no one was listening.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\"Alice, Alice, wake up.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eHer voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eMy voice.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eThe one I've been building\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eone Sunday at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eEverything blurs.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eMy body moves with the music.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eFor a moment I am exactly where I am supposed to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eUntil —\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\"Alice, Alice, wake up.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eAnd I did.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003eBut the rest of the room didn't.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916242297163,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/letter-005-cover.png?v=1787946540"},{"product_id":"chapter-i-taken-over-full-chapter","title":"Chapter I — Taken Over (Full Chapter)","description":"\u003cp\u003eAll five letters of Chapter I, in one purchase — a discount over buying them one at a time.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLetter 001 — Dear Me, Fuck You\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLetter 002 — Seven Days Later\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLetter 003 — It Was Never About the Cashmere\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLetter 004 — Witch Alike\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLetter 005 — Alice, Alice, Wake Up!\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"I am investing 365 days in myself. One letter, every Sunday. One kick in my own ass, delivered on time, no excuses.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916242395467,"sku":null,"price":5.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/chapter-1-cover.png?v=1787946563"}],"url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/collections\/chapter-i-taken-over-1.oembed","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}