{"product_id":"letter-001-dear-me-fuck-you-1","title":"Letter 001 — Dear Me, Fuck You","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me, Fuck you! Unusual right? \u003cbr\u003eI rinse my face, look up into the mirror while the water is still dripping, and it just came out.\u003cbr\u003eThen another one.\u003cbr\u003eFuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!\u003cbr\u003eRaw. Naked. Pure anger against myself. \u003cbr\u003eI was holding my teeth tight, with rage against the bare face of the 40 years old woman in front of me. \u003cbr\u003eDo I need to hit rock bottom to realise that it's time for change?\u003cbr\u003eFuck your greasy hair. Fuck your oversized tee's that helps you  cover what's underneath. Proof after proof of too many \"just this last time.\" I could't look at myself anymore. My hands are shaking and i need something to give them a purpose. \u003cbr\u003eI came out of the bathroom barefoot, bare-hearted.\u003cbr\u003eStripping—not for money, for truth.\u003cbr\u003eMy wet feet were leaving wet prints on the floor. I looked at them for a minute and watched how fast they disappeared, with no trace to be found, just like the past  years of my life.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn my head, something—or someone—is begging to get out. One hundred questions a minute, none of them waiting to be answered.\u003cbr\u003eLoneliness is a strange place to be. It either dilutes you into the world or pushes you away to build one of your own.\u003cbr\u003eAt this point, I am so broken that I have to express it because I am suffocating.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI can't look at this face, this place, this city and not think, I don't know where I want to be, but I'm certain it's not here. Not here mentally or not here physically? \u003cbr\u003eWhere does a broken one go? Am I broken or just unfinished? \u003cbr\u003eNo  destination ahead, just a decision and confusion, a lot of confusion...\u003cbr\u003eHow do I know which part of myself I have to murder, so the rest can live? What if i kill the wrong one? \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt's dark outside. All the lights are on. All the answers are off.\u003cbr\u003eThe curtains are open. I can see myself clearly in the window. From the outside, they can see me too, and neither of us knows who we're looking at. i wonder if from outside i look like normal person. Waiting for the summer, retreat in the winter, working 9 till 5 for a supper holiday and occasional pair of shoes, or do i look as lost as i feel? How many women look the same and feel the same? \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI sit on the couch.\u003cbr\u003eThis is usually when I reach for the remote and pause on my life so I can live someone else's  for an hour, hour and a half. \u003cbr\u003eInstead, I reach for a cigarette.\u003cbr\u003eMy sweet, experienced, venomous friend.\u003cbr\u003eAt least you carry the decency to strike me in the heart, so I know who's hurting me.\u003cbr\u003eI light one up. I wish I had a drink, but my fridge is empty, that's probably better.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI take my phone. \u003cbr\u003eI need visual proof of  the exact moment I choose myself. \u003cbr\u003eA promise before a plan.\u003cbr\u003eAt a crossroads of becoming.\u003cbr\u003eI open my calendar.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI don't search for motivation. Motivation will fallow. I search for a date.\u003cbr\u003e08.11.2026.\u003cbr\u003eOne year from today. \u003cbr\u003eOne table.\u003cbr\u003eOne woman.\u003cbr\u003eMe.\u003cbr\u003eOr whatever version of me shows up. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eShe will inherit the biggest investment of my life.\u003cbr\u003eMy future.\u003cbr\u003ePurchased in fifty-two Sundays.\u003cbr\u003ePaid in weekly settlements.\u003cbr\u003eNo taxes.\u003cbr\u003eOne hundred percent return.\u003cbr\u003eAnd this time…\u003cbr\u003eNo spectres.\u003cbr\u003eNo luggage.\u003cbr\u003eJust me.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916240331083,"sku":null,"price":0.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/LLTM_Banner_2_99e9f743-d410-4cfe-8942-06557718b556.jpg?v=1785562799","url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-001-dear-me-fuck-you-1","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}