{"product_id":"letter-002-seven-days-later-1","title":"Letter 002 — Seven Days Later","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eI don't have the emotional capacity for tough love today.\u003cbr\u003eThe anger exhausted me by midweek, and all I crave is a soft hug and a big bowl of ice cream.\u003cbr\u003eHugs are out of stock, but the freezer is full.\u003cbr\u003eSeven days later, I am romanticising food and my bed—only not the mirror.\u003cbr\u003eI am afraid to see no change.\u003cbr\u003eI am terrified.\u003cbr\u003eBut is this how I am actually choosing myself?\u003cbr\u003eWith another \"just one last time\"?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am forty, running out of time, chasing a clock like a panicked rabbit on the way to the hole of another guru book or self-love bullshit.\u003cbr\u003eWasn't the promise I gave myself last week that no one would choose for me anymore?\u003cbr\u003eI don't need the same thoughts.\u003cbr\u003eThe same cycle of overthinking, overeating, overregretting.\u003cbr\u003eI need music.\u003cbr\u003eMotivation will follow.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI put my earbuds on.\u003cbr\u003eAnother two \"fuck yous,\" seven days later.\u003cbr\u003eOne from me.\u003cbr\u003eOne from Hozier singing in my ears.\u003cbr\u003eOne to the ice cream in the freezer.\u003cbr\u003eAnd one to the rain that is not going to be the judge of me today.\u003cbr\u003eMiddle finger is up.\u003cbr\u003eShoes are on.\u003cbr\u003eI just need to walk.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHozier is asking me to take him to church, and so I do.\u003cbr\u003eI walk towards the only place I feel peace.\u003cbr\u003eThe rain feels different when you have music on.\u003cbr\u003eAlmost like it's speaking to you, if you choose to notice.\u003cbr\u003eSometimes, when I'm listening to music, I completely dissolve into my head.\u003cbr\u003eI think I can feel every emotion of the singer.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eThank God for the broken hearts who feed your soul with their love stories, because you're not ready to turn around and face yours.\u003cbr\u003eAll week, I have been trying to gather evidence against myself, put it in alphabetical order, and start working on it one by one.\u003cbr\u003eYes, you're right.\u003cbr\u003eIt doesn't work like that.\u003cbr\u003eI suppose, in my head, the mess won't just disappear because seven days ago I said so.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe there are too many pieces.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe it's me who needs to turn them over, one by one.\u003cbr\u003eLet me try them.\u003cbr\u003eScratch.\u003cbr\u003eCheck.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHow do I find who I am if I only keep doing everything the woman before me did?\u003cbr\u003eShe is the foundation of me, just as the child I was is the foundation of her.\u003cbr\u003eSo if I want a different woman, I need different choices.\u003cbr\u003eStupidly...\u003cbr\u003eThe motivation did follow.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe I'm trying to move too fast.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am at A, and Z is fifty-two Sundays away.\u003cbr\u003eSo maybe A.1 is enough for today.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe A.1 is choosing music over ice cream.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was lost in my head for nearly two hours.\u003cbr\u003eWhen I went back to my apartment, soaking wet, I looked at my wet footsteps again. For a moment, I was upset that I had to dry them, but this time the wet footsteps weren't gone that fast.\u003cbr\u003eThere was simply too much water.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I let them stay.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916241707339,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/LLTM_Banner_2_84366575-1cb6-4941-a90a-2f0a0e9c9a84.jpg?v=1785562806","url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-002-seven-days-later-1","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}