{"product_id":"letter-013-everything-but-the-man","title":"Letter 013 — Everything But 'The Man'","description":"\u003cp\u003eTall men.\u003cbr\u003eFunny men.\u003cbr\u003eMarried men.\u003cbr\u003eToxic men.\u003cbr\u003eEverything.\u003cbr\u003eEverything except the man. Everything except my man.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI woke up breathless from his hands.\u003cbr\u003eHe was hugging me so tight.\u003cbr\u003e\"I can't breathe,\" I said.\u003cbr\u003e\"Then don't,\" he smiled, and hugged me even harder.\u003cbr\u003eBoth our breaths smelled like not-very-classy wine.\u003cbr\u003eMy makeup was everywhere around my face — just not where I applied it the night before.\u003cbr\u003eThe room smelled like stiff sweat, cigarettes, and fast food.\u003cbr\u003eClothes. Passion. Everywhere.\u003cbr\u003eIn all that mess, the heaviest smell was love.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eSeven years later, this is still the most vivid moment in my head. In my heart.\u003cbr\u003eThe depth of selflessness my body ever felt.\u003cbr\u003eThe only letter I wish someone else had written.\u003cbr\u003eThis is stupid.\u003cbr\u003eIt's been seven years and I keep staring at this page for half an hour, trying to describe it.\u003cbr\u003eIt should be simple — it's just memory, not current love.\u003cbr\u003eBut I like being melancholic sometimes more than the situation actually requires.\u003cbr\u003ePurely for aesthetic reasons.\u003cbr\u003eAnd let me stop pretending for once that this wasn't my fault.\u003cbr\u003eWhy does no song sing about the horror of being loved?\u003cbr\u003eI thought music could explain anything.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLondon, 2019.\u003cbr\u003eFox Pictures proudly presents: \"Born With a Broken Heart.\"\u003cbr\u003eA movie based on the true events of a woman whose only experience of love was people leaving her — until one day someone actually stayed.\u003cbr\u003eAnd she fucked it up.\u003cbr\u003eThe main role is played by the actual stupid woman.\u003cbr\u003eWarning: Not recommended for people who had it all together their entire life.\u003cbr\u003eThis film contains: unnecessary alcohol consumption, dramatic behaviour with no clear purpose, and an impressive ability to blame absolutely everyone else.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eI broke the only thing that had successfully put me together for the first time in my life.\u003cbr\u003eIt destroyed me.\u003cbr\u003eI destroyed me.\u003cbr\u003eI deliberately destroyed his first love and my last.\u003cbr\u003eOurs.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eTruth or dare?\u003cbr\u003eI keep blaming people. Timing. Distance.\u003cbr\u003eBut it was me.\u003cbr\u003eI was the wrong version of myself when I met him.\u003cbr\u003eA poetry of madness.\u003cbr\u003eSo that's how the movie goes.\u003cbr\u003eThe one who couldn't sustain love chooses a life with the only thing that could reach its volume — toxic inheritance.\u003cbr\u003eThe same as her. The same as me.\u003cbr\u003eSo broken and undeniably unbreakable.\u003cbr\u003eUndeniably toxique.\u003cbr\u003eEn français.\u003cbr\u003eThe outcome: a door that opens only at 2:13am.\u003cbr\u003eOne curtain to be closed the very same night.\u003cbr\u003ePunishable by self-doubt and the fear of real intimacy.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSeven years ago... Bethnal Green, London.\u003cbr\u003eHis last stop. My last stay.\u003cbr\u003eEyes only.\u003cbr\u003eHe was looking at me like I still belonged to him.\u003cbr\u003eI did.\u003cbr\u003eThe train doors open.\u003cbr\u003eHe stands up and leaves.\u003cbr\u003eThe last thing he saw were my eyes, still longing.\u003cbr\u003eThe last thing I saw was his back leaving.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003edo I close this door forever — or kick the fucking thing open one last time?\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916267954507,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/LLTM_Banner_2_1a08705e-21a1-4394-b57f-869e69896eef.jpg?v=1785562864","url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-013-everything-but-the-man","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}