{"product_id":"letter-025-russian-roulette","title":"Letter 025 — Russian Roulette","description":"\u003cp\u003eRussian roulette.\u003cbr\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eAs per your own current rule — you had seven days to think about that hanging question your sister so bravely threw at you.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe not expecting you to answer.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe only expecting you to support her.\u003cbr\u003eTime is up.\u003cbr\u003eAnd the letters on the laptop are waiting to be put into action.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\"I don't understand. Is there something wrong with me? Why does it always happen to me?\"\u003cbr\u003eA question like that coming from someone you love is like Russian roulette with an old revolver.\u003cbr\u003eYou have to pull the trigger.\u003cbr\u003eEven though you know the bullet may kill both of you in one shot.\u003cbr\u003eSo here lies the dilemma.\u003cbr\u003eBecause there is always at least one, isn't there?\u003cbr\u003eThe bullet is aimed at two fears.\u003cbr\u003eTell her the truth and watch her bleed.\u003cbr\u003eOr comfort her and watch her lose herself.\u003cbr\u003eHurt and alone.\u003cbr\u003eEither way, there will be consequences.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI refuse to serve the world's victimhood agenda anymore.\u003cbr\u003eBefore my sister.\u003cbr\u003eBefore my parents.\u003cbr\u003eBefore all.\u003cbr\u003eIs that an honest life — or just a way to push my own agenda?\u003cbr\u003eThe one that got me here loving myself?\u003cbr\u003eAren't we all loving ourselves differently?\u003cbr\u003eAnd can I at least present mine in a well-wrapped shotgun aimed directly at my sister's heart, doubts and insecurities?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear sister,\u003cbr\u003eAs I came to understand love — not just the love for another, but the love for myself — love is a threesome between the mind, the body and the soul.\u003cbr\u003eIf you're going to be fucking up sheets, you better make sure all three parties are included.\u003cbr\u003eBecause if you exclude even one of them, it's just sex.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTo accept yourself is not the same thing as to love yourself.\u003cbr\u003eYour mind may say: I love you just the way you are.\u003cbr\u003eBut then your body never receives the treatment of love, delivered through care.\u003cbr\u003eAnd the soul suffers because she feels excluded from the conversation.\u003cbr\u003eIt is kind of like the guy who constantly says: I love you. I swear.\u003cbr\u003eBut deliberately keeps acting against his own claim and never shows it in any form but words.\u003cbr\u003eImagine that guy is your brain.\u003cbr\u003eTelling your body: I love you.\u003cbr\u003eWhile your actions refuse to justify it.\u003cbr\u003eBecause every time you decide to postpone looking after it — feeding it well, nourishing it, showing up for it — the body starts questioning your love.\u003cbr\u003eAnd the soul feels the betrayal.\u003cbr\u003eIt is all connected.\u003cbr\u003eYour own love has to be earned as well.\u003cbr\u003eEarned through the small choices.\u003cbr\u003eLove has always lived in the small things.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe fucked-up truth is that it is not only you who can see when you are not choosing yourself.\u003cbr\u003eEveryone around you can see it too.\u003cbr\u003eAnd people who do not choose themselves often do so because somewhere along the way they stopped believing they were worth the effort.\u003cbr\u003eSo eventually you are only understood by people operating from the same place.\u003cbr\u003eA place from which you are not greatly impressed yourself.\u003cbr\u003eThis is just who I am.\u003cbr\u003eI've accepted it.\u003cbr\u003eThat's not really me.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe.\u003cbr\u003eBut you don't have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe body is evidence.\u003cbr\u003eEvidence of the relationship you have with yourself.\u003cbr\u003eIt doesn't need to be perfect.\u003cbr\u003eBut it needs care. It needs maintenance.\u003cbr\u003eBecause the body starts fact-checking the claims the mind keeps making.\u003cbr\u003eAnd when you deny that care to yourself, you deny others the chance to see it too.\u003cbr\u003eThe energy that follows your choices eventually reaches the rest of the world as: This is my lifestyle. Or: This is not.\u003cbr\u003eAnd people respond accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eLong ago I loved someone so deeply.\u003cbr\u003eAt the lowest emotional state of my life.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I thought to myself: I am not worthy of him.\u003cbr\u003eBut was it really love — if instead of becoming better for him, I chose to push him away?\u003cbr\u003eLife is not complicated.\u003cbr\u003eOnly the explanations are.\u003cbr\u003eAnd when there is action towards your best self, there are fewer and fewer questions like: Am I the problem?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI refuse to comfort you with lies.\u003cbr\u003eBecause if I saw no potential in you, comfort would be enough.\u003cbr\u003eYour younger, smarter and funnier sister.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916285518155,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/LLTM_Banner_2_340cbbd5-6c99-4fa1-ab9f-b9912c1bd580.jpg?v=1785562930","url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-025-russian-roulette","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}