{"product_id":"letter-027-black-the-original-classy","title":"Letter 027 — Black: 'The Original Classy'","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eI am intoxicated.\u003cbr\u003eOn memories, holidays, and goddamn ouzo — the Greek elixir for getting hyped up with dinner, music, and because I fucking want to.\u003cbr\u003eAfter two days of coming home, the bag was packed again, diving into the god's country of food, ego, and the I don't care button that automatically switches to on once you cross the border.\u003cbr\u003eBut this part is the easy one.\u003cbr\u003eComing home is like an exorcism of every previous version of me I have purposely broken to rebuild — awakening and questioning, have you really left all the pain behind, or you have nothing to remind you of it where you're at now?\u003cbr\u003eI feel some of them haven't forgiven me for what I put them through.\u003cbr\u003eThere is a slight hatred in their voice when I say I am happy.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I know them too well to pretend I don't understand why.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me, I told you before — there are no coincidences.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I stand firmly behind it.\u003cbr\u003eWhile I am here, my childhood friend just happens to start working at the nail salon where I had an appointment.\u003cbr\u003eSurprise is hardly what I felt when I saw her there.\u003cbr\u003eMostly a question — what's hiding behind that corner waiting for me to turn right?\u003cbr\u003eA quick catch-up about how we should catch up soon.\u003cbr\u003eWe always say we will catch up.\u003cbr\u003eI think it is one of those sentences people say the way you say bless you — automatic, polite, and never actually meant.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut a 7pm IG call, while I was having a cigarette with my mom, got me putting my shoes on and walking toward the church of my childhood — the local coffee shop where all the gossip was born and many hearts were hurt.\u003cbr\u003eEspecially mine.\u003cbr\u003eSecrets I remember telling to people who did not deserve to know me that well.\u003cbr\u003eAnd part of the woman haunting my body is the little girl who I was back in that coffee shop, sitting between two chairs, two judgments, and two friends.\u003cbr\u003eI arrived five minutes later.\u003cbr\u003eSat in that exact same seat.\u003cbr\u003eAnd the only thing that had changed in this lifetime of rebirths was me.\u003cbr\u003eAnd the coffee shop.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA. was complaining about exactly the same things she was complaining about ten years ago.\u003cbr\u003eSame script. New decade.\u003cbr\u003eSame blame — everyone else but herself.\u003cbr\u003eS., the diplomatic one, the one who had supposedly figured it all out, told us it is perfectly fine if this is what we want from life.\u003cbr\u003eYou got it wrong, S.\u003cbr\u003eI didn't need approval.\u003cbr\u003eI already had my own.\u003cbr\u003eWho and what you both still are is no longer interesting to me.\u003cbr\u003eI have outlived you both a hundred times over.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIn my memories, you are beige.\u003cbr\u003eThe colour of constantly making myself smaller so you could understand me — and you were still failing to do so.\u003cbr\u003eI am not trying to be any less intimidating so you won't feel threatened.\u003cbr\u003eIt would be a waste of my talent.\u003cbr\u003eI am the original black — classy.\u003cbr\u003eNon-negotiable depth, mystery, and power.\u003cbr\u003eI am the purest white — full of individuality, transparency, and mental sophistication.\u003cbr\u003eAnd believe it or not, no one is capable of questioning that.\u003cbr\u003eYou can dim someone else.\u003cbr\u003eI am no longer available for this role.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYou know those people who always tell you it is okay to be exactly as you are?\u003cbr\u003eThey always sound to me like they are reaching for wisdom their own life never gave them the depth to hold.\u003cbr\u003eA sentence borrowed from somewhere they never actually visited.\u003cbr\u003eWe tend to reject everything we do not understand.\u003cbr\u003eAnd as my friend V. always says: \"Tanya, you are Pandora's box. Nobody understands you, so people will either try to put you down or distance themselves. Don't blame them. That's all they're capable of. It has nothing to do with you.\"\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eLook me in the eyes and tell me honestly — why did you go?\u003cbr\u003eWhy did you come back home frustrated, carrying someone else's stagnation like it was suddenly your weight to hold?\u003cbr\u003eYou already knew all this.\u003cbr\u003eThe girl they always called the broken one.\u003cbr\u003eShe isn't in that coffee shop anymore.\u003cbr\u003eShe never was.\u003cbr\u003eThey were just still looking for her.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTwenty years later, the woman I sat across from still wasn't understood.\u003cbr\u003eStill had no approval.\u003cbr\u003eStill looked at me like I was the one who needed saving.\u003cbr\u003eDear me — they didn't grow.\u003cbr\u003eThey just got older.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I finally stopped waiting for an apology from people who don't even know what they did.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916287910219,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/LLTM_Banner_2_e8e1affa-4227-494c-8bd8-e02dd8c1f7db.jpg?v=1785562940","url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-027-black-the-original-classy","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}