{"product_id":"letter-029-not-everything-needs-to-be-deep-water","title":"Letter 029 — Not Everything Needs to Be Deep Water","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eI have been thinking about the word toxic all week.\u003cbr\u003eRolling it around like a wine I can't decide if I like.\u003cbr\u003eWe throw that word at everything now, don't we?\u003cbr\u003eToxic this.\u003cbr\u003eToxic that.\u003cbr\u003eThe word of the decade.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I've been throwing it too — generously, like confetti — at men, at friends, at whole cities when the mood strikes.\u003cbr\u003eBut this week...\u003cbr\u003ethe confetti landed on me.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I didn't love the view.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eL. is in a phase.\u003cbr\u003eThe kind where she turns every conversation back to herself, unconsciously, only to relate or prove she understands.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I sat there, wine in hand, halo firmly on, mentally filing her under T for toxic.\u003cbr\u003eQuick.\u003cbr\u003eEfficient.\u003cbr\u003eCase closed.\u003cbr\u003eGod...\u003cbr\u003eI've become fast at this.\u003cbr\u003eIs she toxic — or have I simply grown impatient and arrogant as a side effect of growing?\u003cbr\u003eAnd when did I become someone who can't tell the difference?\u003cbr\u003eFuck.\u003cbr\u003eHow could I compare her with D.?\u003cbr\u003eFor him, hurting people was a lifestyle.\u003cbr\u003eA mission.\u003cbr\u003eThe only thing he truly had under control.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOn the other side of toxic are the friends.\u003cbr\u003eThe ones who slowly make you smaller.\u003cbr\u003eWho quietly laugh at your dreams.\u003cbr\u003eWho treat your ambition like an inconvenience because it asks questions they've stopped asking themselves.\u003cbr\u003eTheir applause never arrives.\u003cbr\u003eNot because you haven't earned it.\u003cbr\u003eBecause acknowledging your growth would require admitting they stopped growing.\u003cbr\u003eAnd as for my childhood friends...\u003cbr\u003eI stand firm that whoever's ego can't accept that your mind has grown broader will always try to shrink you back until you fit inside their frame again.\u003cbr\u003eNot because they're evil.\u003cbr\u003eBecause that's the only version of you they still know how to understand.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI dislike comparing people.\u003cbr\u003eSports.\u003cbr\u003eArt.\u003cbr\u003eBooks.\u003cbr\u003eOr anything that exists to be experienced in its own way.\u003cbr\u003eComparison has a habit of erasing what makes something unique.\u003cbr\u003eWe are constantly searching for the best, as though anyone has the authority to declare it once and for all.\u003cbr\u003eBut the best is rarely a constant.\u003cbr\u003eMore often, it is an illusion — created by perspective, preference and the human need to rank what was never meant to compete.\u003cbr\u003eNot everything exists to win.\u003cbr\u003eSome things exist simply to be unlike anything else.\u003cbr\u003eAnd perhaps uniqueness is the only standard worth protecting.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMeanwhile...\u003cbr\u003esome friendships were never meant to hold my full weight.\u003cbr\u003eSome friendships are heels on the ground and a joke already in the bag before we even sit down.\u003cbr\u003eSome are strictly for laughing until the mascara runs at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday, where nobody becomes anything except slightly drunk and highly entertained.\u003cbr\u003eAnd you know what?\u003cbr\u003eThat is also holy.\u003cbr\u003eIn its own cheap, glittery way.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo maybe my crime with L. wasn't keeping her too close.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe I was ordering deep water from a bar that only serves cocktails.\u003cbr\u003eAnd then blaming the bar.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eNot everything that drains you is toxic.\u003cbr\u003eSometimes you're just thirsty for something that particular well was never built to hold.\u003cbr\u003eSo maybe I keep L.\u003cbr\u003eJust —\u003cbr\u003ein the right department.\u003cbr\u003eHeels.\u003cbr\u003eJokes.\u003cbr\u003eMascara at eleven.\u003cbr\u003eCocktails.\u003cbr\u003eNot deep water.\u003cbr\u003eThe deep end stays reserved.\u003cbr\u003eAnd these days...\u003cbr\u003eI'm very picky about who gets to swim there.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":57916290302283,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/1064\/4802\/7979\/files\/LLTM_Banner_2_eb64186e-be81-40a3-8fc7-0a8c5865bda5.jpg?v=1785562951","url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-029-not-everything-needs-to-be-deep-water","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}