{"product_id":"letter-033-trying-it-on","title":"Letter 033 — Trying It On","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eI needed my usual one-hour walk.\u003cbr\u003eThe one I started thirty-two Sundays ago.\u003cbr\u003eEarbuds on.\u003cbr\u003eToday's turn belonged to '90s pop.\u003cbr\u003eI needed something sweet.\u003cbr\u003eSomething familiar.\u003cbr\u003eSomething gentle.\u003cbr\u003eYes…\u003cbr\u003eI was about to do the thinking.\u003cbr\u003eI don't point my middle finger at the fridge anymore because I converted the ice cream into healthy Skyr with raspberries.\u003cbr\u003eApparently that's the higher currency currently keeping my body as fit as my will allows it.\u003cbr\u003eAlthough…\u003cbr\u003eI do miss pointing my middle finger at something once in a while.\u003cbr\u003eShoes on.\u003cbr\u003eBaseball cap.\u003cbr\u003eAnd I hear the door closing behind me as quickly as I can, so I don't have time to change my mind.\u003cbr\u003eActions, dear girl.\u003cbr\u003eActions.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTalking about actions…\u003cbr\u003eThe texting between me and Dom has quietly become part of every day.\u003cbr\u003eEvery hour.\u003cbr\u003eEvery minute.\u003cbr\u003eI like to convince myself that I don't like it.\u003cbr\u003eBut I do.\u003cbr\u003eHe's so interested in everything I do.\u003cbr\u003eAnd, on my side…\u003cbr\u003eI'm mostly interested in what he thinks about everything I do.\u003cbr\u003eI seriously don't find any of his interests capable of creating curiosity in me.\u003cbr\u003eNot the slightest.\u003cbr\u003eBut I can't ignore how much I like his attention.\u003cbr\u003eSo…\u003cbr\u003eam I enjoying him…\u003cbr\u003eor simply enjoying being enjoyed?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eSometimes when he sends me a voice message, I want to kill myself.\u003cbr\u003eAt this rate I'll retire before he reaches the point.\u003cbr\u003eUntil he actually pronounces a sentence.\u003cbr\u003eDespite that,\u003cbr\u003eI keep imagining what kissing him would feel like.\u003cbr\u003eI loved kissing, and it's been a while…\u003cbr\u003eWould I become more attached once we finally see each other?\u003cbr\u003eFour days from today.\u003cbr\u003eYes.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI'm diving straight to the bottom of a sea so full of fish…\u003cbr\u003eand somehow I keep thinking this particular one is missing from my menu.\u003cbr\u003eI don't know why I'm going through this now.\u003cbr\u003eI guess I no longer think about love as only the colour red.\u003cbr\u003eI think about the whole palette.\u003cbr\u003eAnd my decisions are simply trying to match the colours accordingly.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCandidate #417 came in a shade I'd seen before.\u003cbr\u003eBut never thought suited me.\u003cbr\u003eI never wore it.\u003cbr\u003eI never even tried it on.\u003cbr\u003eIt wasn't intense enough.\u003cbr\u003eThere was nothing forbidden.\u003cbr\u003eNothing hidden.\u003cbr\u003eNothing tragic.\u003cbr\u003eNothing too romantic.\u003cbr\u003eIt was…\u003cbr\u003etoo mature.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd would my collection of love really be complete…\u003cbr\u003eif I stop adding to it?\u003cbr\u003eMature love.\u003cbr\u003eI've never heard anything more boring.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMaybe it won't hurt to try it on.\u003cbr\u003eJust this once.\u003cbr\u003eSo I can finally reject it…\u003cbr\u003efor real.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e—\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYes.\u003cbr\u003eI think that's what's actually bothering me.\u003cbr\u003eThat I'm rejecting something…\u003cbr\u003eI've never tried.\u003cbr\u003eHow hypocritical of me.\u003cbr\u003eAfter claiming for years that my heart earned its emotions in strip clubs with long nails and nasty moves.\u003cbr\u003eMaybe I have more to give.\u003cbr\u003eOr maybe…\u003cbr\u003eit's finally time to receive.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":58225453138251,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-033-trying-it-on","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}