{"product_id":"letter-035-confusion-level-unknown","title":"Letter 035 — Confusion Level Unknown","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eThe next day I woke up with the uncoolest urgency for water and to stay in bed all day, which was absolutely impossible.\u003cbr\u003eSo I jumped into some not-so-clean clothes, baggy jeans and a favourite oversized tee, and with a coffee and sandwich, I boarded the train to Cheltenham, which was the reason I was in England at all, and most importantly, in London.\u003cbr\u003eThe morning started with my bestie between my lips and continued with my laptop in the middle of the carriage of the train, with my letters shining ready on my keyboard.\u003cbr\u003eYes, I know it's not yet Sunday.\u003cbr\u003eBut give me a break.\u003cbr\u003eDear me, I need you now!\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI was satisfied with the date.\u003cbr\u003eEven though that romantic hit-by-a-hammer feeling I usually have after I know I've got it bad for someone wasn't there, this really was mature.\u003cbr\u003eI hate me for saying this.\u003cbr\u003eI swore I would never grow into a mature type of love.\u003cbr\u003eAt least not the ones I see around me.\u003cbr\u003eOr are they mature?\u003cbr\u003eAnother question mark that needs an investigation.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt was 10 a.m. when I arrived at Cheltenham Spa, and I already had three messages and two pictures with a tongue sticking out of his mouth and a fist folded into a rock-and-roll gesture.\u003cbr\u003eIt's not that it wasn't flattering.\u003cbr\u003eIt was.\u003cbr\u003eBut...\u003cbr\u003eDon't you have something to do?\u003cbr\u003eHis availability was putting him in a very unattractive spot.\u003cbr\u003eI mean, we are all adults here.\u003cbr\u003eI don't expect you to have it all figured out.\u003cbr\u003eI mean, who does?\u003cbr\u003eBut babe...\u003cbr\u003ewhat are you doing all day, every day?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI didn't even get to that question last night.\u003cbr\u003eI was so willing to test this as a having-fun, action-date instead of the interview one, that I may have left with a lot of not knowing then I imagined.\u003cbr\u003eIt was still nice hearing from him, but the messages turned more into:\u003cbr\u003eOkay, let me have a moment to myself.\u003cbr\u003eLet me think.\u003cbr\u003eLet me enjoy what happened last night before we jump into tomorrow.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI remember something he said last night.\u003cbr\u003eAgain, not many people speak like this on a first date.\u003cbr\u003eHe said that he was really looking forward to having a wife and a family one day, although he is happy without it.\u003cbr\u003eThat usually is a woman's way of finding out what the man thinks about it.\u003cbr\u003eSo, if it was the other way around, I wonder why he mentioned it.\u003cbr\u003eBecause I am pretty sure I already told him that in my future I don't see kids.\u003cbr\u003eAnd, to be fair, I'm not even thinking about a relationship.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt was something unusual in the whole feeling about him.\u003cbr\u003eBut it wasn't that dreamy, lost girl imagining what it will be like in ten years.\u003cbr\u003eActually, for the first time in my life, I know what and how I want to be in ten years.\u003cbr\u003eBut he didn't seem to have it figured out.\u003cbr\u003eWell...\u003cbr\u003eI didn't know either at his age.\u003cbr\u003eBut, to be fair,\u003cbr\u003eI'm not his age anymore.\u003cbr\u003eAnd it isn't fair to the woman I am becoming to only be with a man because he suits the woman I was back then...\u003cbr\u003ebut really needed him to be.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSo...\u003cbr\u003eis that for me?\u003cbr\u003eOr for her?\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default","offer_id":58225475060043,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-035-confusion-level-unknown","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}