{"product_id":"letter-038-alone-again","title":"Letter 038 — Alone Again","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003cbr\u003eApparently, loneliness is the worst place to be.\u003cbr\u003eThen I scroll down on IG, and a quote from a great mind strikes me with a splash of cold water: that it is indeed a membership club for the strongest, smartest, weirdest among us, and that perhaps it's a gift.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnother further scroll, and some “successful” person claims it is lonely at the top, and that when you follow your dreams, get ready to be alone, bored and... to be honest, I forgot the next one.\u003cbr\u003eBut that whole message was clear:\u003cbr\u003eAlone again.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut is it?\u003cbr\u003eAre all great minds here?\u003cbr\u003eAnd what if some of us still want a normal life?\u003cbr\u003eAren't they still winners?\u003cbr\u003eAnd where is the scale of measurement that says you need to be ridiculously rich to be successful, or life loses meaning?\u003cbr\u003eIt is all or nothing, they say.\u003cbr\u003eBut in the back of my head, I feel like the motivational talk has gone way too far.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThere is still a comfortable middle ground where you can have enough, and even more than enough, and still have a pretty normal life.\u003cbr\u003eJust no one talks about it.\u003cbr\u003eBecause, in my way of seeing it, those people are probably the happiest.\u003cbr\u003eThey don't bother teaching other people how to live.\u003cbr\u003eInstead, they just do.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI am back home for another month or so.\u003cbr\u003eI am always thrilled to land, and somehow, over the years, I have collected my favourite memories and locked them in a capsule that needs to repeat as soon as my high heels are on and I hand my glass to the waiter for a refill.\u003cbr\u003eYet I sit on my old place to check the temperature of my seat.\u003cbr\u003eBut the heater is broken, and it's only getting colder.\u003cbr\u003eMy wine doesn't do the only job it's supposed to, and instead of the chair being filled by someone else, no one bothers to pay attention to it, so it will shortly be recycled and out of use.\u003cbr\u003eThen the capsule always breaks, and the loneliness drops heavier than it was.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eI turn around to look for another Cupid arrow to throw, but Dom has lately been completely out of the picture.\u003cbr\u003eAnd my little plan of being a bad bitch, only toying with him, actually works only in the movies.\u003cbr\u003eEvery attempt to be someone else doesn't add satisfaction.\u003cbr\u003eIt mostly just removes it.\u003cbr\u003eAnd tops up more loneliness instead of wine.\u003cbr\u003eSo that page is closed, even though there have been a few attempts from him to stay close and write a message once in a while.\u003cbr\u003eI have turned cold to them, and I think he got it.\u003cbr\u003eBut I should have been at least more mature and just told him, rather than wait for him to figure it out.\u003cbr\u003eWhat weak shit of me.\u003cbr\u003eI just hate disappointing people.\u003cbr\u003eBut silent rejection is just another way of doing so.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eOnce in a while, another guy pops into my DMs, but I feel like I am extremely far away-minded from everyone.\u003cbr\u003eAnd as soon as the conversation goes in the direction of settling and normal life, I shift away immediately.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd somehow, I see a good catch of a man around town, but I think that we all crash into what we were most afraid of:\u003cbr\u003eloneliness.\u003cbr\u003eAnd now we are way too comfortable in it.\u003cbr\u003eAll the sane people.\u003cbr\u003eAll of us who just refused another arrangement.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd what is company if it deludes you?\u003cbr\u003eIs it holding any value?\u003cbr\u003eOr are we just convincing ourselves that if we are in a relationship, we aren't losers?\u003cbr\u003eWhat do the most married, unhappy people think of us?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAnd in this becoming, after 38 letters...\u003cbr\u003ewhat is it that I really want?\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":58538032431435,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-038-alone-again","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}