{"product_id":"letter-041","title":"Letter 041 — I Can Hear Her Coming","description":"\u003cp\u003eDear me,\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI feel wildly tired and awake lately.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAwake because I can't sleep properly, and tired because I just don't have the energy or focus to do anything but stare at a dot.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI scroll pointlessly on IG like I am looking for something in particular, but I don't know what.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIn my head, there is no clear thought, just floating.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt gets interrupted again and again until, in my mind, the paths look like a forest with 50 options to turn left or right, yet not clear ones, but old signs of the steps of someone who once walked there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis someone is an old version of me who never got to walk that path till the end.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSo now the grass has grown over it, and I don't know which one to start with.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou probably can feel it from my writing.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis chapter has completely lost its purpose for loneliness.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOr maybe my complicated brain helps me understand why I am actually lonely by describing to myself something indescribable to anyone else.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eBecause people say, \"I understand,\" but they hardly do.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIt is like it is shameful not to be able to understand someone.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnd at this point, it would be a lie because I don't even understand myself.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI feel like another outgrowing breaking is coming my way, where I just need to step back and allow myself to strip away everything the new version has outgrown and leave it behind.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eJust to leave my soul naked for everything but my instincts.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou know, like a big confusion before a huge awakening.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMoving through the wrong paths in the forest, with all the dead ends, until you get to one that moves you to the other side.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe other side of what, I do not know.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eI only know that I will never find it if I don't make space for it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAnother old version of me is leaving my body.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eQuestion is, which one is coming?\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Love Letters To Myself","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":58293099364683,"sku":null,"price":1.49,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":true}],"url":"https:\/\/loveletterstomyself.co\/products\/letter-041","provider":"Love Letters To Myself","version":"1.0","type":"link"}