Dear me,
This time I put my clothes on first.
After we sealed the toxique contract between us,
both parts met the promised standards:
intensity, desire, passion on his end,
and obedience, sensuality, and warmth on mine.
Until he laid his head next to mine, closing his blue eyes.
He didn't look as surprised as I expected.
I think he was impressed when I placed his clothes next to him and said,
"I need to be up early tomorrow."
The universal phrase for:
I don't want you to spend the night here.
My face was so neutral, I couldn't have done it better even if I tried.
Seven seconds in heaven with him.
Seven days later, still in heaven with myself.
Two orgasms — one from him, one from me.
Mine still moving through my body seven days later.
—
Dear player,
You have the right to remain cold at all times.
No feelings should be involved at any stage of this agreement.
You have the right to kiss me, pull my hair, save me like a woman, and
punish me like a child.Falling in love is punishable by humiliation, rejection, and self-worth debt.
No hugging, intimacy, or eye contact is allowed during the act.
If they occur, they must be treated as irrelevant to this type of
relationship.
You also have the right to outgrow your previous version.
And if, at any stage of your becoming, the other player no longer fits the
fantasy,
you have the right to leave him without explanation, regret, or mercy.
Terms & Conditions.
The small print we never read.
But we always click accept.
—
In chess, the most dangerous move is the one nobody expects —
when the queen crosses the board in silence
and ends the game in a single strike.
They appeared in my head so clearly while I was out for a run.
Revelations always come suddenly.
Always late.
Never when I need them.
Just
fresh air
and my heavy breath.
All this time I was looking at the chessboard from the wrong side.
The rules come with the next level.
For me to admit what this really was — that was the next level.
—Is it possible to outlevel myself?
As a kid I learned that when you become very good at a certain game,
you start losing interest.
Have I outplayed him?
Or outgrown myself?
Twelve Sundays will do that to a woman.
Because if he doesn't hold real control over me,
then this is a breach of contract.
Terminated effective immediately.
And the rules are clear.